It took 27 years, but I figured it out. It wasn’t easy, and I’m probably still not done, there’s so much more to learn I’m sure. But I’ve figured it out. My happy. I know how to do it now, and I want to share how it came about, because for so long, it was just a show. But putting it into the universe, setting intentions then ACTING on them, is the best way to crush goals right? And crushing goals is what keeps me happy.
So I think I mentioned somewhere in my about me post how I used to be a wellness coach for Team Beachbody. That was seriously the happiest, most empowering time of my life. It’s kind of hard to explain the feelings a powerful life change has on you. I hit a low point in my self-esteem and finally decided I had to do something, anything to change where I was, and somehow picked the right Facebook stranger/girl crush/awesome chic I had been following to talk to about it. She could have been selling me bottled hot air that day and I would have bought. Luckily for me, she was selling a completely new way of life I thought unattainable to “people like me” my whole 26 years of existence. I dove in head first! Healthier eating, working out (EVERY DAY without fail! Sometimes MULTIPLE times a day!) setting monthly and weekly goals-with deadlines, and meeting and exceeding them, and doing personal development through amazingly powerful books that spoke to my soul on a level I thought was unattainable. This was IT for me.
Problem was…I have, well had, some demons. Skeletons. whatever you wanna call them. Everyone does. The changes in my body gave me self-confidence like never before, and with the self confidence and the constant posting of this awesome body I worked so hard to get, came attention. unfortunately for me I thrived off this, I was always the chubby one, all through school, terrible sense of fashion, not popular, and definitely not healthy and fit. Now that I was, and I wore it as a corn of sparkling diamonds, I got all the attention. And I made some bad decisions, I thrived off the attention, I started letting my goals slide because “hey I look good now” I was still going out partying on the weekends, eating unhealthy foods and just not posting about so as to not ruin the “coach lifestyle” appearance, and started second guessing what I really wanted in the “big picture” if I really wanted to be tied down with a marriage and 4 kids, or continue living it up like an adult with no responsibilities, no little lives that depended on them, and no one to answer to. Somehow, for a short time, I thought this might have been an option for me.
I’m SO GLAD I woke up. See what I didn’t post about is what an amazing husband I HAVE that loves me more than he loves himself I’m pretty sure. This man changed his ENTIRE life around to please ME, he has done and continues to do everything you could DREAM a man do for you. He’s pretty much a saint walking around right here with me. And the best part? He’s crazy about me. He loves me in a way they write about in novels, he may not be a poet or amazing at expressing his feelings, but his actions speak volumes my heart understands. Girls dream of a boyfriend/husband like mine, and I took him for granted for so long. This man is my world, and I have finally realized that in order to keep him I need to act like the most grateful girl in the world and get my head on straight!
My husband, and our children are my number 1 priority. I had to step away from coach life to really figure out where I wanted to go. TBB empowered me enough that I had put together and started a tire shop for my husband and I, to give us more time together, and a legacy we can pass on to our children. The shop is doing amazing, we are helping so many people get affordable quality work done on their vehicles, and treating them with a level of customer care that is unrivaled in the mechanics world! Although I’m super proud of myself and happy that my husband has the “Garage Business” he’s always wanted, being a secretary is NOT my life’s goal 😉 So I did some soul-searching, some research, and a bit of experimentation and now I know it. My road map. What I am going to do to feel the way I want to feel.
I’m going to downsize! Smaller house, smaller amount of JUNK we don’t need, smaller bills, but BIGGER life! More love, more time spent with loved ones, more memories made TOGETHER.
The farm. All Natural living is honestly the way to be. If we don’t fix the way we are living NOW there will be no Earth for our future great-grandchildren. That’s an AWFUL thought. Sustainability is my goal. Self sustained is the ultimate dream. Action steps towards sustainability is a huge checklist for me this summer. From a small rabbitry to feed my Wolfdogs an appropriate diet (More to come on the adventures of bunny breeding coming SOON! Like hopefully picking up my buck next weekend!!!) to my own indoor herb garden and prepping for the outdoor garden this summer at the property!!!
School, still hoping to start at ACHS summer semester for Holistic Health Practices. Me being the good student I am, have already purchased a few of the required readings for the first couple classes and am IN LOVE with what I am learning. Sharing this journey is going to be SO FUN!
And the most exciting part of all this for me? BACK TO COACHING!!!! I resigned as a Beachbody coach. Having the structure and support of my coaches team is what my life has been lacking. I haven’t set a single goal since I quit, I’ve gained back probably 40 pounds of the 60 I previously lost, and clean and healthy eating went right out the window as soon as I started working at the tire shop. IT’s time to prove that running my own businesses and being fit and healthy and doing things I love IS POSSIBLE. Time for me to learn and stick to a new schedule that I may hate at first, but will ultimately lead me to a level of success unlike what I have previously achieved. It’s time to do this thing. I know my roadmap to happy, I know it all starts with a healthy foundation, good sleep, good food for fuel, and thanking my body for continuing to get me through each day by exercising it and getting it back to a good shape. I want my life back, I’ve removed soooo much negative energy, old emotions, and everything that doesn’t make my heart happy from my life and I want to live it fully, and authentically, without omitting the tender parts. Life is hard. People fuck up. But all you can do is be better now than you were yesterday. Progress IS perfection, as long as you are working to be better every day, you are perfect, and I’m ready to be perfect again.
Spending my weekend preparing for a week of success. Look out for a blog post on my grocery shopping and meal prep tomorrow! ❤ thanks for reading!!!